2014/02/05

passion and lust (2/?)

tao/xiumin | ~1.2k | fluff, angst, smut????

about tao, who is a stripper, who meets xiumin, who is a stripper, at a library.

part 1

The next morning, when Tao opened his eyes and first thing he did was stare at the grey ceiling of his shabby apartment, he had the sudden realisation that he wanted to change his life. He couldn't be hoping and waiting for prince charming to come around the corner eventually and pick him up on his horse. No, he was a grown up man and he should take things in his own hands. He should finally start with what he really wanted to do and that definitely didn't include being a stripper and dancer at some club. Even though he knew he had to keep his job at the club, he wanted to change other aspects of his life. One of the many things he regretted was making a contract with his boss, which compelled him to working at the club for a certain amount of time. At least he wouldn't have to worry about a workplace, unless his boss suddenly decided he's had enough of him and fired him. But maybe he would be completely fine with that, although it scared him not to know what would happen after that. He had always felt kind of secure in his little apartment, knowing in the next few hours he would have to work at the club and then come back to the apartment again to drown himself in sleep. That's pretty much all he'd ever done. Until now. Until now, that he decided he wouldn't go on like this anymore. And the next thing that Tao could think of was getting ready and going to the nearby library.

As a child he loved to read books. He loved reading on and on for hours and hours until his eye lids would get heavy and he eventually fell asleep, curled up in his blankets. But after running away from home, after his life turned dark, he denied himself of all the things that used to make him happy. It just seemed pointless to him. He had lost his hope after all.

Stepping inside the library he was greeted by a warm and bright atmosphere that enveloped him and carried him further inside. He wandered to all the shelves of books without hesitation and let his finger glide over them and through the many pages of paper. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips at the familiar smell of books and he felt a tiny spark of pain and longing in his chest. He missed this. Missed that feeling of happiness.

After he walked around a little longer and explored the library, Tao settled on an arm chair in a corner at the back and began to read. He was so absorbed in the book, that he didn't notice the time ticking by. When Tao looked up again, he looked around a bit dazed, as if he had just woken up from slumber and was now unsure about his whereabouts. He glanced at his watch and noticed shocked that he had nearly spent the whole afternoon at the library. Deciding that he had read enough for the day and would be coming back tomorrow, he made his way to the shelf where he picked out the book. Tao turned around a corner and came to a sudden halt. He froze where he was standing and his eyes had widened a bit the moment he saw a familiar person standing in front of one of the shelves, studying the books that were displayed there.

The boy he was staring at had reddish hair and chubby cheeks, a little smile played around his lips as he was dreamingly gazing at the books in the shelf. Tao was surprised the moment he recognised the person. What was Xiumin doing here at the library? Xiumin, the newest attraction in town. Xiumin, the person he had dreamt about last night, because even though he had tried to get him off of his mind, he had crept back into Tao's subconsciousness later when he fell asleep.

Hesitantly he stepped in front of the shelf where he got the book from, standing only a few inches away from the cute-looking boy. The moment he had put back the book in its right place, he heard a surprised voice. "That was exactly what I've been looking for all this time!", said the person next to him and grabbed the book Tao had put back only seconds before. “You don't need it anymore, right?”, the person questioned and Tao turned to his right and saw Xiumin smiling at him with a questioning look.

“No, I'm done reading it”, he answered stiffly. “You can have it.”
Xiumin's smile grew bigger after Tao's answer. “Good, because I really feel like reading this book today. It always gives me some kind of happy feeling and cheers me up”, he explained and Tao had the urge to squeeze his squishy cheeks, but refrained from it and instead said: “Yeah... I know what you mean.”
“Oh, my name's Xiumin, by the way!”, the boy exclaimed and held out his hand for Tao to shake.
“I'm Tao.”, he said shortly and tried avoiding the boy's eyes. Something about the boy made him feel... uncomfortable and self-conscious. After leaving the strip club last night, he didn't plan to ever go there again and that included not ever meeting the stripper again as well. But it seemed like fate had planned other things for the blonde boy.
“Where do you come from? You don't seem Korean?”, Xiumin asked curiously and Tao squirmed a little and let his eyes wander around in the library to not look in the other's eyes. “Ah... sorry. I didn't want to sound so curious, but I was just wondering since you seem to have a little accent while speaking”, elaborated the other.
“No. It's fine. I'm from China.”, Tao answered hesitantly.

He hated this subject when meeting people. He always tried to talk as much as possible about the person facing him, and not about himself and his past, or what he likes or dislikes or his family and especially not about what he did for a living. Tao pretty much hated talking about personal things and he avoided these topics if possible. It always ended up in people knowing close to nothing about him and therefore avoiding him after they learned that he would never ever tell them anything private. That's why he had no friends at the moment. Or never really had before. Back in China it seemed a little bit easier talking about these things. But not only the language barrier made it hard at first here in Korea, all the circumstances at that time made him isolate himself from the world. His job was also another reason, since he didn't want any guests to know personal things about him; it was forbidden anyways to get close to one of the regular guests. Not that there would ever be anyone he would be interested in.

“Wow, you're from China! I've always wanted to travel there, it seems like such an interesting place to spend your time at. How long have you been living here in Korea? How do you like it here?”

His attention was focused on the boy again, standing in front of him with his reddish orange hair framing his face, his left hand holding the book in the hand Tao had been reading moments before. Tao looked back in his eyes and wondered why Xiumin wanted to know so much about him. Wasn't it enough to just thank him for bringing back the book he had been looking for and then go read it somewhere? However he didn't want to brush him off just like that. Even though Tao usually was like that - sometimes really rude to people - he tried to act differently to Xiumin. He couldn't always be so rough to new people who asked him things about his life just because they were genuinely interested. And especially on this day, when earlier he had decided that he would change some things in his life, it couldn't hurt to be a little more open about getting to know others – and letting them get to know Tao.

Xiumin noticed that Tao was kind of hesitating about his answer. A little smile formed on his lips to encourage the blonde boy and Tao tried to ignore that warm and exciting feeling, that slowly spread in his chest.
“Well... I moved here when I was 18.”, he replied and looked into a surprised face.
“On your own?”, Xiumin asked astonished and Tao wanted to chuckle, but just nodded a little instead. “Wow, that must have been hard for you, living all on your own in a foreign country, not knowing the language, nor having anyone here to support and help you...”

Tao wanted to cry. Never before had someone so bluntly said what he was feeling deep down inside all the time. Feeling alone, rather lonely, was the problem he had to endure day by day. Not having anyone by his side, even if it was only to listen to what he had experienced during a day. Not having anyone to cheer him up after having a rough time at the club, with guests troubling and harassing him. No one... to cuddle with or spend a lovely time with. He seriously had never felt so lonely in his life before.

“Hey, how about I'll show you a cute little café only a few streets away from here? I go there sometimes, when I want to think about things bothering me. It's really cosy and nice there. I think you will like it. Do you want to go?”
Tao looked into Xiumin's eyes and it was the first time that he thought that someone was being sincere. That someone cared. That's why he didn't even hesitate that much as before. “Sure.”

It didn't take them a lot of time to walk to the café, because really, it was only a few minutes away from the library. They sat down in a booth and waited for a waiter to take their order. Ten minutes later, Tao found himself drinking coffee, sitting face to face with Xiumin and laughing at the red haired boy's jokes and anecdotes about things in life.

Suddenly Xiumin stopped laughing. “Um... it's getting dark outside and I actually have a day off today. Would you like... I mean... I wondered if... Would you like to come to my apartment with me? You know, I could cook for us.”

Tao furrowed his brows and wondered whether he should say yes, because he had just spent a really nice time talking and laughing with Xiumin at the café and he wouldn't mind to spend the rest of the evening with him. Or if he should say no and run, because it seemed kind of weird to him. He had met Xiumin just a few hours ago and he already invited him over to his apartment? Tao should have said no, but he really liked Xiumin and wouldn't mind spending some more time with him today. And something inside of him told him that he should just go for it. He couldn't isolate himself from people forever. And Xiumin seemed genuine and really nice. He wouldn't really do something bad to him? And even if he tried something weird, Tao was sure he was strong enough to defend himself if something bad happened. And... if something good happened, he thought he might not even mind it.

“Why not?”, Tao answered and Xiumin smiled at him.
“Cool. Let's pay and then go”, the red haired man said and after they had paid for their coffee, they left the café and made their way to Xiumin's apartment.

They arrived twenty minutes later at Xiumin's door and after he had unlocked it, Tao stepped inside Xiumin's warm apartment. It looked really neat and clean and nothing like Tao's cramped and shabby apartment. Even though, it seemed not that much bigger than his own. But all in all, it seemed friendlier and more inviting as Tao's. A small smile tucked at his lips.

“You like it?”
Xiumin peered at him from the corner of his eyes and Tao nodded. “Yeah. It looks really nice.”
“Thanks. It's a little small, though... more like tiny”, the man replied with a little laugh and Tao looked around.

Xiumin was right. His apartment was pretty much only one room. On the right was a small kitchen and Tao thought that there wouldn't be enough space for two people to comfortably cook in there. The kitchen was connected to the living room, which consisted of a small sofa for two and a nice flatscreen TV. On the left stood a big and comfortable looking bed with beige sheets. Tao wondered if it was as comfy to sleep in it as it looked.

“I guess, I'll start cooking now. You can sit on this chair and just watch me”, Xiumin smiled cheekily. Was he flirting with Tao? He thought there was more to the undertone the other boy used, but decided to dismiss it. Tao didn't really reply anything to that and just walked over to the chair at a small dining table.
It didn't take Xiumin too long to cook delicious smelling pasta. “Would you like some wine for your dinner?”, Xiumin asked and Tao nodded. It couldn't hurt to drink a little wine.

After Xiumin had brought the plates with the pasta and the bottle of wine to the table along with two glasses, he poured some of the red liquid into Tao's glass. During that moment, Tao started wondering why he went along with Xiumin in the first place. Was it the light but prominent thumping of his heart in his chest when looking at the man in front of him, a little smile gracing his soft looking lips? Tao mentally shook his head. No, what was he thinking. But then again, who was he trying to kid? He obviously was attracted to Xiumin the moment he saw him swaying his hips back and forth to the loud music playing at the Rouge. Tao squirmed a little in his seat only thinking about that image in his head.

“You know, I saw you last night.” Tao heard a soft voice say. He looked up from his plate of pasta and straight into Xiumin's brown eyes which seemed to absorb him completely like a black hole. “At the Rouge, I mean.”
Tao gulped. “Oh.”

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