I am your guardian angel

seho | ~1.7k | fluff, a little angst?

I promised you to be there for you and I will. Always. I am your guardian angel, don't you know?


It's been a year. Exactly one year since his death. Time went by so fast, for Sehun it felt rather like a few weeks, maybe even just a few days. Everyone was moving on with their lives, but Sehun was still stuck in that moment he found out about his death. It was a car accident. How ironic, he always used to be such a careful driver. Sehun couldn't understand why it had to happen. He asked himself everyday why it had to happen. Why him? Why had it to happen to a person he loved so much that he actually wanted to spend the rest of his life with this person? He is... was so precious. So gentle and friendly. Perfect on the inside and on the outside. Sehun had never met such a kind person before. Every time he thought of his sincere smile that was able to brighten every dark corner of his life, he had to start crying. Even though he told himself not to, he couldn't prevent at least one tear from escaping his eye. He had told everyone that he was alright, that he would be fine in a few months and would start living his life normally again. But he just couldn't. How could anyone be able to not think of the person they loved on a daily basis? Especially when they have lost the person they love in such a tragic kind of way? He was the one who saved him from the darkness and it seemed like he was also the reason he fell back into the darkness. I thought you were my guardian angel... Sehun couldn't help but also feel a little angry. He came into his life, changing everything, and he left his life, changing everything again. It was confusing how one person could change everything in your life. Especially Sehun's life. Sehun had never thought that that was even possible. Before they had met, Sehun used to be a very pessimistic person. He was frustrated and depressed 24/7. He hated his job, he wasn't really close to any of his friends and he didn't keep in touch with his family. He was a lonely person. He rarely went out. While all his collegues from work were having a blast, he would stay home, watch TV, read or just sleep early. He didn't know what happiness was until Sehun saw him. They met at a coffee shop.


"Chocolate coffee's ready!" the barista announced. Sehun went to the counter to grab the steaming bevarage, but someone seemed to have the same idea as him and their hands touched. Sehun lifted his head up to look into a handsome face decorated with a soft smile and warm eyes looking back at him.
"I think this is mine." said the man standing next to him, Sehun's hand was still resting over the other one's. In that moment the barista behind the counter brought another cup of chocolate coffee.
"And here's the second one!" the young barista exclaimed with a wink and was off doing another coffee.
"Oh..." mumbled Sehun, blushing as he removed his hand. He grabbed the other cup, the temperature of the drink soothing its way into his left hand. "I'm sorry."
"Oh, it's fine, really." replied the man with a gentle smile. "It's no wonder we both ordered a chocolate coffee, they're the best sort of coffee anyways." he laughed a little and took a sip from his drink, closing his eyes and audibly liking the taste of it.

That's when Sehun fell in love with him. He just knew he had to meet him again. And so they did, although Sehun was really nervous and unsure about seeing the other man again. He wasn't really good at befriending strangers, but there was something about this person that made Sehun curious. And just the fact that he seemed so genuine and friendly was probably a reason Sehun wanted to get to know him better. All the people he considered as his friends never were really genuine with him, but right after the first time they spent time together, Sehun was sure that he was different. He was just so lovely and also very intelligent and educated which made him a really attractive man. Sehun loved gentlemen. The kind that would hold the door open for you and would pick you up at work to go out for dinner with you. The kind that would sit in the living room and read a book when you came home from work or that would be done cooking a delicious dinner for the two of you. The kind that would laugh at your jokes and would act all silly and goof around with you, but also the kind that would be serious in the moments they had to be. And Sehun found all of this in him. It was like he found the person of his dreams and he couldn't quite comprehend it. It seemed so unreal to him. Sehun was also really insecure. While he seemed so perfect for him, Sehun had so many flaws. He pretty much had only flaws. He couldn't think of anything that was positive about him. How would anyone as perfect as him want Sehun? As time passed by and they both had spent a lot of time together, he got to know Sehun's deepest thoughts. Sehun never told anyone anything that was moving him deep down inside, but he just wanted to tell him, he felt safe in his presence and even though he was so scared that he would get rejected after telling all of this, he still did. The moment he found himself in warm and strong arms, crying because he felt so loved and accepted, he knew he could start a new part of his life with a person who would help him find happiness.

"I will be your guardian angel. Whenever you have negative thoughts I will be there and chase them away. I will help you, okay?"

Now he wasn't there anymore to help him. Sehun was all on his own and his life had never seemed so dark before. Not even before they had met at the coffee shop. I need you, don't you understand? I need you so much. Why did you leave me? I don't know how to live without you anymore. I can't do this alone. You promised me to be there! You promised me we would always be together. I hate when people don't keep their promises. I miss you so much... I miss your soft smile and even your awkwardness when you are embarrassed at something. I love everything about you. I love you. So much.


A soft bell chimed when he entered the coffee shop. It was warm inside which was good because Sehun was freezing and he really needed some warmth back in his limbs. He made his way over to the counter where the same barista was standing behind. The same one who had been serving them their drinks wheny they had met. Sehun pressed out a little smile when the guy lifted his head and looked up at him.
"Hey, what can I get you?" He was as bubbly as he had been back then.
"A chocolate coffee, please." Sehun said in a soft voice.
"Sure!" the barista replied and started making his coffee. When he was done he looked up and stared at him for a few more seconds than necessary. "You don't happen to be called Sehun, do you?" he asked with a pondering voice.
"Yes, that's my name. Why?" Sehun was confused. How did that guy know his name? The barista left his coffee on the counter and turned around to grab a white envelope from the shelf behind him.
"Someone came and left this for a person named Sehun who would order a chocolate coffee. I guess that's you, right?" he smiled and handed Sehun the envelope.
Sehun reached over to grab the envelope with his name on. "Yes, I guess so..." he said quietly.

When he sat down at one of the small tables in the shop, he put down the cup of coffee and the envelope, staring at it for a few minutes without touching it. A thousand of thoughts were running through his head and all of them were about one thing: Who could have left this envelope for him? He even thought of the most impossible thing and quickly discarded that thought again. Impossible. So all he could do was actually open the envelope. With nervously shaking fingers he picked it up and opened it slowly, finding a piece of a folded sheet of paper in it. When he unfolded the paper he couldn't believe what he was holding in his hands. The handwriting was too familiar to not recognise. Sehun began shaking and gasping for air. This couldn't be real. It couldn't be. It just couldn't.


I love you.
Don't ever forget that. And don't ever think I wasn't serious about it. Don't ever question these three words. I probably haven't told you enough how much I love you. I wish I could do it more often.
Don't spend your days thinking how unworth you are. You aren't, understand? I love everything about you. You are so worth being loved. I am so happy I can be the one to love you and be the only one until the end of my life. I want you to be happy. Sehun, go find your happiness! You know that I will help you, right? I promised you to be there for you and I will. Always. I am your guardian angel, don't you know?

I love you so much, Sehun.
I know I will never be able to express it properly in words. But I really do love you.

- Joonmyun